I am a Russian engaged in a campaign of fake political advertising designed to change the outcome of the 2020 Presidential election. I operate in plain sight, yet I am having no problem deploying my campaign, which is aimed to a narrowly defined segment of the American population that I believe will determine the election.
When I began my effort last month, my first step was to obtain approval for my fake ads from Facebook and Google. They have made it slightly difficult to use their platforms for political advertising. Facebook required me to check off some forms and upload photos of my driver’s license. They followed up with a snail mail letter to my address to confirm that I live where I said I do. Google was a bit tougher — I had to provide a taxpayer ID number, a W-9 tax form and a picture of the front of my driver license.
Success! Campaign to infiltrate Facebook complete!
I am working alone as an independent operative. My chosen vehicle is a front group called “Libertarians for Warren,” which hawks the idea that Elizabeth Warren is not actually a left-wing extremist, but rather a libertarian who will actually save capitalism from its current state of decline. My primary tool so far has been a doctored photograph of Elizabeth Warren at an election rally, with right wing libertarian economist Milton Friedman cheering her on, and one-time Libertarian party candidate Ron Paul giving the V sign in support. This fake image was easily created by a Photoshop expert at a very reasonable cost. My campaign
While Warren is currently slumping slightly in the polls, I’m confident that my efforts will help her to win the Democratic nomination, and I will pursue this campaign through the 2020 general election. Although my budget is absolutely microscophic, my ultimate target audience is also small. This audience consists of voters who cast their ballots for the Libertarian candidate in 2016 — my analysis indicates that if I can sway a fairly small number of Libertarian voters in PA, WI, MI and FL to vote for Warren, she will achieve victory in the electoral college.
Many of you out there will condemn my efforts and would support crushing independent operatives such as myself. I’m doing all sorts of things you may find offensive. As I confessed, I’m promoting fake news, and I’m targeting my hoax as narrowly as possible. For example, I prefer to direct my counterfeit propaganda to people with BA degrees or above, who don’t watch Fox News, and who live in the specific localities where libertarian votes will be in play.
I find that if I don’t target specifically, and Trump supporters encounter my campaign, they flood my pages with endlessly repeated MAGA slogans, profane insults, and even photos of Nazi Storm Troopers aiming rifles. Does this sound evil to you? Do you want to crush my first amendment right to tell my jokes to the people I want to tell them to, even if my actual intention is to get Trump out of office?
When my great grandfather immigrated to the US from Russia in the 1880s, I am quite sure that he never imagined that subsequent generations of Kavarskys would have the freedom that I enjoy today. He could never have imagined in his wildest fantasies that his progeny would possess the utter sense of the absurd to waste so much time doing humorous election meddling. It is in his honor that I will persevere, until I either elect Elizabeth Warren, or I am driven from my current perch by the censorship of do gooder reformers who are so totally uptight about a bit of political humor.